are you really happy?


Happiness is a state of mind or feeling such as contentment, satisfaction, pleasure, or joy.[]

IF you ever thought you be happy if you attain 90/100 for your test or that higher paycheck. Think again? Were you really happy when you reached there? Deep down in us, we want to believe the ideal partner, pay, children etc will make us happy. But when we finally have those things we are pursing, does it really make us feel good and happy? Can the poor, bankrupts and the sickly be happy and enjoy life? Let me ask you,"When did the size of our bank accounts and houses have anything to do with living a joyous life? Do you need to have $100, $1,000 in your account to be happy? Think about past instances when you were happy. What led to your happiness? Money, circumstances or people? Think hard and you will know that happiness was felt because you chose to be in that moment and be happy.

Do not mistaken excitement for happiness. Some deem they will be happy after striking lottery. They make plans to spend the money. They are excited at the thoughts of having more money. But once cash is in their hands, they do not feel "as happy" as before. Take two different persons trapped in a traffic jam. John is super frustrated as he think of the outstanding work in office. On the other hand, Jim is happy that he can take a break off his busy schedule to read his emails. Same situation, totally different emotions. I bet you had heard about how patients lived beyond their cancers and life expectancy" ACTUALLY IT'S ALL IN YOUR MIND AND CONTROL! YOU CAN CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY ANYTIME, ANYWHERE. (some sensitivity must be exercised during exception times i.e. at a wake) I know being happy can be an uphill task in this modern, fast paced and stressful society. And nasty co-workers, tough economic conditions do not help the situation. But if life is not challenging and unpredictable, wouldn't it be boring to go through your everyday life with the same routine and knowing everyday's ending? To me, being happy is not dwelling on the past, not putting too much emphasis on long term but to simply enjoy every single moment that life has in store for me presently. I always make it an effort each day to control my emotions and thoughts so that I maximise my moments in the happiness mode. Remember there are many challenges in life, you need not tackle each and every one of them. Be selective. Believe that you wont have the answer to all and try your best when you are given a shot. Lastly, learn to let go.

Little simple things that make me happy or maximise my moments in positive state of mind

1) Looking at funny pics like this

2) Commanding and seeing my dog (heng heng) turning over asking for a tummy rub ;

3) Buying food or snacks for my loved ones (minus the supper);

4) Huming my favourite tune (this changes every week according to my mood);

5) Helping someone in need (This can be as simple like giving my seat for an elderly or helping a colleague to pass on a document on my way) ;

6) Putting on my shoes and run/exercise every other day;

7) Walking and bathing my dog on every Sat morning ;

8) To take time off from my routine and do the things that I want to do (like creating this website) ;

9) Counting my blessing (Owning a fit and healthy body, a wife who don't ask for more than what I can provide, and whatever little blessings you can think of) ;

10) Knowing that I do not have excess/unnecessary loans that I can't cope with ;

11) Recount incidents in a funny way (For instance emphasize the movement of your boss's eyebrow during the board room showdown or a red underwear over his head. If someone has to appear like a clown in your thoughts to brighten your day. Why not? Stretch your imagination !!) ;

12) Recount certain past incidents that makes you laugh for sure (How you trip and fell and feel silly) This sure helps ;

13) Lowering my expectation of situations that do not go as planned ;

14) Talk crap to someone (Beware! not to your lecturer/boss unless you know for certain they can take it) ;

15) Avoid people who make you unhappy (Now you know why your calls are avoided? ) ;

16) Telling myself that I only have so much time on earth, why bother so much with the (troubling issue)? Deal with it and move on;

17) Asking myself the purpose of doing something and is it worth getting upset? i.e. I work for money, not to get angry and affect my health. (If work is bothering you) ;

18) Get the book , randomly flip to a page and read that and the following few pages. It helps to lighten your mood ;

19) By shifting and staying focus on wonderful moments spent with your treasured ones ;

20) By telling myself ,"It doesn't matter how long I live, how happy I choose to live matters"



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Chin Hock (Holdinghands in the Media)
Founder of Holdinghands and Filial Piety Award Recipient 2013